As I squeezed through the crowd, seeing a whole bevy of activity at the lobby area, a flood of graduates, dressed in their black gowns, yellow stripes and motar hats lingered around. I was then thinking to myself, that would I be able to graduate on schedule. How would my situation be, when I see parents of the graduate standing there, taking pictures, and being so proud of their child.

 

It's times like these that give me a big headache. Just as it had for my birthday.

 

But one very, very important person that needs to be there, and I really want her to be there, is my Grandma.

 

I haven't been exactly been performing up to expectations; being unable to get into a local uni, failing my econs for year one, and throughly slacking through year two. I feel like such a big disappointment, at times, but then, it's my life. Why place all the expectations on me, when I wasn't given a platter of choice to choose from? It's like being the elephant in the big circus act, which I had no control over. Animals learn through repetition, which I'm not.

 

And there's him. I can't allow myself to think of this whole issue, or as a real person. Relationship issues are super thorny with me, and I'd rather be single and free, than be to be bound to bouts of insecurity. It's like, there's a little worm in there who's trying to push the yearning level up, but the mind sprays the insecticide, half hoping to quell it, half hoping it'll fail in doing so.